Two weeks ago, as I sat on the bus to work, I happily thought to myself “Life is actually going well. Things are settling down. I’m happy”.
And then everything happened.
The most significant event on the list is that we got told we’re just about to be slapped with our 2-month eviction notice. The house that our little queer friend circle has happily lived in for a year, will no longer be our home as of the start of February. That’s happening whether we’re ready to move out or not, at present we are not.
Friends who’ve known me a while will know what that house means to me. When I moved back in with my parents in mid-2015, due to a lack of money and a lack of employment, things were pretty grim. I was starting my transition, which was getting off to a rocky start, while feeling isolated and deeply unhappy about living in my hometown. The opportunity to move to the south coast, with new friends, far away from where I grew up and everyone I grew up with, was a godsend. It is one of the most significant things I’ve ever done in my life and it paid off immeasurably.
This is the house where I changed my name, started HRT, found a job and ultimately finally felt happy, living in a part of the country I’ve always wanted to move to. A lot of that happiness is tied to transition, but just as much is tied to my friends here.
Through circumstances that are entirely blameless, our little group of 4 may be splitting up when we move out. This is upsetting. I won’t lie, I’ve cried multiple times over the thought of losing this house and these people, my friends. If it’s what happens I’ll be sad, of course, but I’ll be happy for the friends that are chasing new opportunities as a result.
Whatever happens, I’ve decided I’m staying in this city for now. I like my job and I feel like this is home, I have too many reasons to stay. All going well, I won’t be moving too far away from where I am right now.
Meanwhile, it’s time for GIC appointment number 2.
On Monday I’ll be back at the GIC for the absolute worst timed appointment possible. While I should be looking at possible places to rent, I’ll be re-telling a doctor my life’s story, again. I grumbled about the GIC system on my last blog so I won’t drone on too much here, but I’m again annoyed that resources are being wasted on me when I clearly do not need to be so rigorously assessed.
I have been on HRT for 10 months, I have no regrets, my life is dramatically better off. I have a letter from a private doctor stating that I have gender dysphoria, based on two in-person appointments with them. I have a full time job and evidence of which. How am I not able to simply give informed consent and move to the next step? Why do they insist on a further two appointments, minimum, before approving me to actually enter their care fully? It’s a broken system and one I’ll be happy to see replaced. I hope I’m part of the last batch of trans people forced to dance to this wasteful and humiliating tune.
Although last time I visited Yorkshire I had time to meet friends and even enjoy myself a little, this time I won’t. I’ll be arriving, attending the appointment, and heading back home with very little time in-between. This is firstly to avoid spending too many precious holiday days from work, but also to get back to sort out the house move. Beyond actually finding a place to move to, there’s also packing and cleaning to be done. Luckily I have some time off around Christmas and New Year, which will let me get the bulk off packing done, but I don’t want to depend on that time as there’s a lot to do.
Collectively, I’ll be spending about 18 hours on 4 coaches, going up and back down for this GIC visit, that’s not to mention the 2 train rides needed too. It’s exhausting to think about, so I’m trying to see it as a good thing, an excuse to get some reading done and actually relax. I’ve had so much rattling around my head lately, and so much to do, I’ve not really let myself relax. Being forced to sit in one place for hours, where I can’t really get any errands done, means it’s an excuse to finally stop. I’ve been very slowly working my way through the Star Wars Rogue One prequel novel for instance, so I imagine I’ll finish that off on the way up, as well as some comics I’ve been meaning to get to forever.
Otherwise, I won’t bore you by going on about other events that took place, but the last few weeks have involved: a housemate dashing to hospital, a burly bailiff lurking in our back garden, bad news about the health of multiple family members, a broken toilet, multiple work events and a hefty surprise bill. So it’s been a fairly stressful time here.
I’ll let you know how things develop, until then: Happy Holidays!